Love knows no bounds between a person's skin color and the gender of two lovers. Representing a vital space for the LGBTQ+ community, members strive to celebrate their sexuality without prejudice. As inclusive as the community is, society presents real challenges and issues that affect its subcultures. Black community at large remains underfunded, though the situation starts to improve somehow. For instance, KeYou has recently supported launching a fund led by Black woman.
Black gay men, in particular, yearn to navigate life as authentically as possible. However, equal treatment is a daily struggle and a double-edged sword based on the color of their skin and who they love. Caught in the middle between racism and homophobia, ignorance plays a profound role in their personal and professional development.
From Martha P. Johnson sparking the Stonewall riots to openly gay novelist James Baldwin exploring Black identity, ebony individuals have made significant strides in art, politics, and entertainment. However, for every accomplishment for equal rights to make pride within the Black LGBTQ+ community, there are also setbacks.
Common Issues Black Gay Men Face
The lack of inclusion for Black gay men stems from everything between healthcare and mental health support to homelessness and job opportunities. Depending on the socio-economic, cultural, and religious background of one's environment, Black gay men inevitably encounter issues with their self-worth and social status. Despite the slight milestones achieved with gay marriage and work discrimination, stigmas make it difficult for ebony gay men to carve a safe space for themselves.
External and Internal Issues of Perception
Black gay men offer a breadth of aspirations and personalities that enriches the human race; however, sectors of society limit Black gay men to fulfill specific roles regarding hyper-masculinity, family, and sex.
In the LGBTQ+ community, the natural attraction to effeminately expressing oneself breaks the norm of traditional expectations and what it means to identify as a man. Too much femininity or androgyny in how they wear their clothes or hair invites harassment and stigmatization. The tiniest details such as their physicality, how they talk, and their hobbies can make them vulnerable to hiding or compartmentalizing their true selves to survive.
The family dynamic for Black gay men also contributes to how Black gay men thrive. Though most parents have hard times with their children coming out, the relationship between Black fathers and sons (especially teens) remains the most complex. While some Black fathers support their son's sexuality, it's not uncommon for dads to take an old-school approach and retaliate with abuse. The backlash Black gay men endure escalates if their religious household regards sexuality as a choice instead of a biological factor. Identifying as gay ultimately becomes an added stigma where race is already their initial adversity to overcome.
Transitioning from adolescence to adulthood, and entering the dating sphere, cultivates risks with being vulnerable and feeling accepted. It's not entirely uncommon for gay men of other ethnicities to perceive their Black counterparts in terms of "The Friendly Giant" or "Big Black Protector." and expect daddies to be mature and dominate. Instead of viewing their partners as fully-fleshed human beings, there's an expectation for Black gay men to fulfill a fantasy such as a brute predator or hypersexual stamina. In contrast to the variety of attraction labels, gay men use to identify sexy body types, racial preferences breed racist environments, especially with unmoderated online dating tools.
Racial Prejudices against Black Gay Men
A Black man looking fordating or relationships with fellow men experiences almost twice as much ignorance as cisgender and white counterparts. Removing and unpacking dangerous judgments in the LGBTQ+ community needs to begin with a systematic change in politics as well as individual beliefs.
- In 2017, The Public Religion Research Institute discovered that 73% of the Black community were more likely to recognize discrimination of the LGBTQ+ community versus 54% of white Americans.
- The CDC in 2018 reported that Blacks/African Americans accounted for 42% of HIV diagnoses. According to an MMWR, 58% with previously diagnosed HIV were linked to HIV medical care within 90 days of the diagnosis.
- The Trevor Project's research proved that 66% of their group study reported depressed moods in the past 12 months, yet only 39% would receive professional care.
- Black Future Lab's 2019 Black census tracked that 90 percent of its LGBTQ+ respondents reported low pay. Additionally, 80% reported a lack of affordable health care, and 79% reported a lack of affordable housing.
- Nearly one in five hate crimes target the LGBTQ+ communities, with the majority of cases affecting gay men.
As the Black gay community looks towards the future, there are shining examples to celebrate. Openly gay celebrities such as Billy Porter and proud Black centered media such as Black Gay Boss are redefining what it means to be Black and gay. When more platforms give a voice to Black gay men's struggles, solutions against prejudice improves, and evolves.
Best Free and Paid Online Dating Options
Amid the obstacles Black gay men face, Cupid is always willing to direct singles to find the guy of their dreams. There are exciting options (free of charge and paid) to explore one's sexuality and meet someone who accepts them for who they are. Dating apps and dating sites are here to help. To save your time, we brought top options to hook up or tie the knots, both for the web and phones.
Apps
- Surge is one of the fastest-growing ad-free dating apps that implements a simple swipe feature to explore member profiles. Finding someone to chat, send videos, and meet-up becomes a breeze. The dating app contains monthly, and yearly subscriptions and is available on Google Play and the App Store.
- Jack'd spans 2,000 cities in 180 countries with a diverse group of users who want to chat and show each other a good time. Viewing profiles is free with more advantages to connect through a monthly subscription. Jack'd app is available in the App Store.
- Zoosk builds unique relationships with a slick and accessible design. As members swipe through profiles, the dating app adjusts interests based on preferences. It's free to join on Google Play and App Store.
- Scruff celebrates different body types with a special emphasis on hunks with beards, body hair, and tout muscles. Quick icebreakers come in the form of sending "woofs" in chats as well as opportunities to participate in games and local events. A free version with a premium upgrade is available in the App Store.
- KeYou is yet another cool app to find your best Black gay partner. Intuitive interface, actively growing user base, enhanced security, and affordable subscription make KeYou your ideal companion to explore diverse and exciting world of Black gay men. Available on Google Play and App Store.
- OkCupid is a great social networking and dating app and site that aims to create memorable dates and potential long-lasting relationships. Its unique profile set-up lets users share meaningful information that helps them land the best matches. OkCupid doubles both as a site, and as an app on Google Play and the App Store.
Websites
- Elite Singles matches singles searching for Mr. or Mrs. Right. From heterosexual singles to the LGBTQ+ community, the dating site uses accessible registration to hook members up with who they're looking for.
- Black People Meet helps like-minded Black singles develop deep connections. Browse profiles, chat, and find potential hook-ups.
- MenNation is one of the world's largest sex and dating sites for gay men. With 90,000 million members, there are more than enough potential mates for something casual or long-term. Free services are limited, while premium features contain viewing profiles, messaging, and more.
- AfroIntroductions is a leading site for African Americans. The dating site is a member of the popular Cupid Media site, which operates dozens of niche dating sites and also offers a Google Play app. Its free services include basic matching and sending interest to other members, while premium membership expands unlimited communication with all members and VIP profile highlighting.
- OurTime makes it easy for gay Black seniors over 50 to find a pen pal, friend, chat and local dating options, or a marriage partner. It's a reputable sister site to the popular matchmaking service Match.com. The site includes free profile creation with more available features such as notifications and messages with a premium subscription.
Chat Rooms
- Facebook offers groups dedicated solely to queer spaces. It's perfect for sharing interests, posting photos, and confiding personal experiences.
- MyBlacky is a one-stop-shop destination for Black individuals to chat, explore personal ads, and engage in flirtatious messaging. There's no pressure to hook-up with fellow members in person and maintain an easygoing digital correspondence.
- BuddyGays is one of the largest social network sites online. While the virtual lounge offers opportunities for dating, the site encourages members to flirt and chat until users find the right Prince Charming.
- BlackScene exclusively highlights 100% free chat rooms for Black singles. Visitors can choose to set up dates with local single males or stick to chatting and developing online relationships.
- GayBlackManChat.com gives members access to enjoying a variety of ways to chat, such as private chats, group conversations, and live webcams.
Offline options
Seeking love online is all the rage right now, however, local offline options also instill enriching experiences for personal development and starting new relationships. Here are some pickup options you can find in your city for both young and senior gays.
- Participate in a gay sports league. What better way to stay in shape and hang-out with active hunks than to join a baseball, soccer, rugby, or basketball league.
- MeetUp.com lists on-site groups for curious individuals to chat and express their self-interests. The site lists information online for easy access, but the events are set offline for visitors can mix and mingle face-to-face. Themed gay bars and clubs can be great to search for soulmates or even blind dating.
- Gay men's choruses in cities like San Francisco and Miami perform concerts for a variety of organizations and events. Joining a group is great for tapping into one's musical side.
- Attend a local coffee shop event. Gay-based coffee establishments can feed an intense caffeine fix. As a special bonus, they often hold special events that make it easy to share intimate conversations with like-minded people.
- Join LGBTQ+ non-profits. With the community facing so many adversities, volunteering creates an invaluable and positive ripple effect.
